Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Gamefreak revisits Fight Club (Xbox version reviewed) I am Jack's lack of ideas in gaming....

(Thanks to Tom for suggesting this as a reader review.....the kick to the balls is in the post).

Hey guys, thanks for checking out this revisits section, this time looking at the fighting game Fight Club, released in 2004 by Vivendi Universal games. The film was an attack on material goals, telling men to take back their manhood that the soulless, corporate environment we live in has sucked out of us. The game forgot all of this, and gave us a fighting game that's as basic, generic and banal as they come. To become a member of fight club, you had to adhere to 8 rules. To make a fighting game there are also rules. So let's see what rules this game needed:


Get the basic fighting engine correct. You need to get some flashy moves in there, you need to make it feel like very punch is splitting skin and smashing bones. Fighting games, such as Tekken, Virtua fighter, Soul Calibur managed to combine the feeling of impact with style and over the top moves. The combat in fight Club is as flashy as a brown sofa. The moves available to the various characters are boring, unimaginative and as dialed in as they come. IK+ on the Spectrum had more variety in the moves lists.


Make a half decent story mode. You don't play fighting games for the story. Most fighting games revolve around some kind of fighting tournament, and really, come on, do you really know what the fuck is going on in the Tekken games? No, it doesn't matter. But you need some kind of basic narrative to make the single player game fun to play and to make it seem like you're making some kind of progression. They didn't even try in Fight Club. They basically repackaged the same story as the film. Try to join Fight Club, Chase Tyler, he's a mental case, the end. Why not have it as you run your own Fight Club? Make some kind of mini game aspect where you overlook the various clubs that spring up over the country. I don't know, as i'm no game designer, but in my fucking sleep I could make a better story! PISS!!!


Include memorable characters. Heihachi Mishima, Paul Phoenix, Akira, Sarah Bryant, Ryu, Yoshimitsu, Iori, Blanka, Scorpion, Zangief, Nina Williams, Terry Bogard...all names that when mentioned you instantly get an image of that character in your head. All characters that HAVE character, instantly recognisable and all fan favourites. What do we have in Fight Club??? Raymond. The mechanic. Lou. All completely minor characters that had minor-if-not-non-existent parts in the film. When it gets to the point that Meatloaf sporting planet sized tits is the most memorable character in the game you know you have problems.


Be congruent. Nothing in the gaming world does my head in more than games that aren't congruent. Tekken. Flashy, over the top. Virtua Fighter. Skilled, deep and a game where patience is a virtue. Streetfighter. Easy to play, hard to master. All games are congruent within their own worlds. Fight Club has nothing to do with the ideas presented in the book or film. Non of the vandalism, non of the messages blasting conformity and mindless materialism, it's just an excuse to have some fights. Why not involve the crowd instead of having them sit back in the distance watching the fight? Is it so hard to have me fall into the baying mob watching the fight and have them throw me back into the arena to continue with pummeling the shit out of my opponent as they did in the film? For fucks sake, Pit Fighter had that feature and that game is as old as they come! TOSS!


No shirts....no shoes. They couldn't even get one of the rules from the book and the film correct! A few of the characters wear vests and hats!! Fucking shambolic.....


Don't give us Fred Durst as a secret character.


See rule 6.


And the 8th and final rule......watch the videos below and hear more of my thoughts and see the game in action.

Part 1.

And here's part 2.

So that's Fight Club. A pile of shit of EPIC PROPORTIONS!!! It's not the worst fighting game to ever be made, but it's right down there.

Of course, please let me know your thoughts. Or indeed if there is a game that you want to see me cover, let me know and i'll see what I can do.

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